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They're they're incredibly powerful, and I need them to help me with my research, Morty. I'm looking around this place, and I'm starting to work up some anxiety about this whole thing. Rick All right, all right, calm down. Listen to me, Morty. I know that new situations can be intimidating. You're looking around, and it's all scary and different, but, you know, m-meeting them head on, charging right into them like a bull that's how we grow as people.

Virgil, Aeneid, – - 4. Commentary - Open Book Publishers

I'm no stranger to scary situations. I deal with them all the time. Now, if you just stick with me, Morty, we're gonna be— a gigantic alien monster suddenly appears behind them. Rick I never seen that thing before in my life. I don't even know what the hell it is!


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We got to get out of here, Morty! It's gonna kill us! We're gonna die! We're gonna die, Morty! Rick having apparently escaped, they are walking through Dimension C, continuing their adventure. Morty All right, Rick, look how much longer is this gonna be? Shouldn't I be back at school by now?

Rick Are you joking me? I mean, look at all the crazy crap surrounding us. Look at that thing right there. You think you're gonna see that kind of thing at school? Morty Yeah, Rick, I get it. We're surrounded by monsters. That's kind of the reason why I want to leave. Rick Ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta. Morty, you see this? Rick You see what we just stumbled upon, Morty? Any idea what that is down there? Morty The mega trees? Rick That's right, Morty the mega trees with the mega fruit on them and that's what I'm talking about, Morty. That's where my seeds are. If we would have done what you wanted, I would have never have found them, because you're so in love with school.

Morty All right, all right. So, what's so special about these seeds, anyways? Rick You ask a lot of questions, Morty. Not very charismatic. It makes you kind of an burps under- burps underfoot figure. Rick gives Morty a pair of shoes and Morty proceeds to put them on. Rick Just take these shoes, Morty.

Virgil, Aeneid, 4.1–299

They're burps. When you're wearing these things, these babies, you can basically just walk on any surface you want, Morty up, down, below, turn around to the left. These things really bring it all together. Morty walks off the cliff and plummets to the ground, screaming and smashing into rocks.

Rick You have to turn them on, Morty! The shoes have to be turned on! Beth I am not putting my father in a home! He just came back into my life, and you want to grab him and stuff him under a mattress like last month's Victoria's Secret? Jerry I told you I was ordering you something for Valentine's Day. More importantly, your father is a horrible influence on our son. Davin Everything cool in here, Beth?


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  • Beth It's fine, Davin. Davin Okay, cool. You know, we did something great today. There's nothing more noble and free than the heart of a horse. Jerry closes the door on Davin. Jerry Since we're fighting, if you ever have an affair with that guy, I will come to the hotel room and blow my brains out all over your naked bodies. Beth Look, I appreciate the stress you're under, but Morty was having trouble in school way before my dad moved in, and the only influence I can see Rick having is that, for the first time in his life, Morty has a friend.

    Jerry sighs. Well, maybe you're right.

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    Beth Uh, yeah, maybe I am. I'm my father's daughter. I'm smart. Why do you think I'm a heart surgeon?

    Jerry coughs Ahem, Horse heart surgeon. Beth answers the phone and gets a call from Morty's principal, Gene Vagina. Principal Vagina Hello? This is Principal Vagina, no relation. I wonder if you and Morty's father might be able to have a chat with me this afternoon? Rick standing by Morty, who is lying on the ground with his legs broken Morty, oh, you really d-did a number on offscreen your legs right now.

    You know, you got to turn onscreen.

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    Morty I'm in a lot of pain, Rick! Rick Yeah, I can see that. But do you think you'll still be able to help me collect my seeds, Morty? Morty Are you kidding me?! That's it, Rick! That's the last straw!

    I can't believe this! I'm sitting here with both of my legs broken, and you're still asking me about getting those seeds?! Y-y-you're a monster. Y-you're like Hitler, but-but even Hitler cared about Germany or something. Rick Okay, hold on just a second, Morty. Morty Ooh! Rick finally returns and injects Morty's legs with medicine, healing them to perfection. Morty Ooh, Ohh, Ooh. Wow, Rick. That stuff just healed my broken legs instantly.

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    I mean, I've never felt so good in my life. Thank you. Rick Don't worry about it, Morty. Just come help me get these seeds, all right, buddy? Morty Sure thing, Rick. Rick Not that you asked, Morty, but what just happened there is I went into a future dimension with such advanced medicine that they had broken-leg serum at every corner drugstore.

    The stuff was all over the place, Morty. Morty Wow, that's pretty crazy, Rick. Rick There's just one problem, Morty one little hang-up. The dimension I visited was so advanced, that burps they had also halted the aging process, and everyone there was young, Morty, and they had been forever.